Archive for September, 2013

September 9, 2013

The Tenth Good Thing about Crystal or What NOT to do When a Pet Dies

Kathy Higgs-Coultard, Director of Michiana Writers' Center

Kathy Higgs-Coultard, Director of Michiana Writers’ Center

By Kathy Higgs-Coulthard

I am officially the world’s worst parent.

It hasn’t always been the case and there is hope that redemption will come, but meanwhile I wear the gray badge of failed parenthood. A badge which was remarkably easy to earn.

Hannah’s pet frog died while the kids were at school. Since after school sports and parents’ Back to School Night would prevent me from sitting still long enough to talk to Hannah compassionately about death, I scooped Crystal from the terrarium, wrapped her gently in paper towels and tucked her into a small box for safe keeping. Just until after school the next day when I planned to sit down with Hannah and have THE TALK.

But. The next day we hosted an out of town guest and I had airport duty. And the day after that my mom needed help moving some boxes and before I knew it, Saturday had arrived and Hannah called down the stairs, “Mom? I can’t find Crystal!”

I assembled the minions in the living room and told them as gently as possible that Crystal had died. “But where is she?” Hannah asked. My answer that Crystal was probably in Frog Heaven got a snort from my teenager and a follow up question from my ever discerning tween who asked, “What about the body?”

My eyes flitted to the counter where I’d secreted away Crystal’s remains. Before I could protest Chris was off the couch and holding the makeshift casket. The other kids clamored around him, asking to see the body. I weighed the therapeutic values and risks of showing Hannah the body. I figured it might help her to see how peaceful all things look in death, so that when she faced the inevitable loss of a human loved one, it wouldn’t be such a shock. I did not for a second think about how much time had passed since Crystal’s demise. Even if I had, I never would have predicted power of paper towels to completely mummify an amphibian. I unwrapped Crystal from her shroud and showed my children something that looked more like a Muppet version of King Tut than a frog.

After the shrieking and the crying Hannah finally asked if that’s what Cookie Grandma (who died when Hannah was very little) looked like now. Then her eyes grew wide and she asked, “When I die will my skin shrink off like that?”

We had a loooooong talk and a very formal funeral (which required all of us to don our Sunday best). Then I loaded everyone into the van and drove to the place that has helped me heal from so many of life’s shocks: Dairy Queen.

Since then I’ve invested in a few good books in case Hannah’s other pet, a beta named Nick, should go belly up. My favorite is The Tenth Good Thing About Barney because of Judith Viorst’s warmth and humor.

thetenthgoodthingTitleThe Tenth Good Thing About Barney
Author: Judith Viorst
Genre: picture book
Ages: Listening 5 yrs and up; Independent 8 and up

My favorite book about losing a pet. The child is encouraged to cope with loss through remembering the things about Barney that made him so lovable.

 

illalwaysloveyouTitle: I’ll Always Love You
Author: Hans Wilhelm
Genre: picture book
Ages: Listening 3 yrs and up; Independent 8 and up

Sweet illustrations. Helps young children understand that love doesn’t stop when someone dies.

what's heavenTitle: What’s Heaven?
Author: Maria Shriver and Sandra Speidel
Genre: picture book
Ages: Listening 5 yrs and up; Independent 8 and up

Helps explain the mystery of Heaven in a way that is not specific to a religion.

when a pet diesTitle: When a Pet Dies
Author: Fred Rogers (MISTER ROGERS)
Genre: Nonfiction picture book
Ages: Listening 5 yrs and up; Independent 8 and up.

Anyone who ever watched Mister Rogers knows how caring and thoughtful Fred Rogers was. His background in child development is evident in this developmentally appropriate handling of death.

September 5, 2013

Hosting a Super Sleepover (Of course there are books involved!)

by Angela Verges

Angela Verges

Angela Verges

The kids are back in school and will make friends and soon invite them over for play dates and sleepovers. I remember my boys being invited to a friends’ house for a sleepover, so we didn’t have to host many ourselves. When the boys returned home I would hear stories about their escapades.

“We had a pillow fight, played games and stayed up all night.”

Now when I ask my teen boys about their first sleepover, they claim memory loss. I asked questions such as, “Did you tell scary stories, what kind of games did you play?”

The response I received was, “That was six years ago Ma, I don’t remember.”

Since I was planning a sleepover for my nieces, I thought it was also a good idea for the boys to read a book related to sleepovers. Maybe this would help them remember their days of sleepovers and help me with the planning.

jigsawjonessleepoverThe book my son read with me was A Jigsaw Jones Mystery – The Case of the Spooky Sleepover by James Preller. The first page of this chapter book begins with a description or Ralphie Jordan, a popular kid and a “world-champion smiler.”

Title: A Jigsaw Jones Mystery: The Case of the Spooky Sleepover
Author: James Preller
Genre: Early Reader, Mystery
Age:  Elementary

Ralphie wasn’t smiling when he talked to Jigsaw about his problem. Sitting in Jigsaw’s treehouse and backyard office, Ralphie explained that he heard ghost sounds at his house. And so the idea of a sleepover at Ralphie’s house was formed.

The Jigsaw Jones series has a recommended age of 7-10 years. The language was age appropriate and fun to read. The mystery was solved in a satisfying way that left this reader with a smile, just like Ralphie Jordan.

9780316734189For the younger reader, Olive’s First Sleepover by Roberta Baker does a good job showing escapades that occur during a first sleepover. Olive played with her friend Lizard many times, but had never stayed the night with Lizard.

Title: Olive’s First Sleepover
Author: Roberta Baker
Illustrator: Debbie Tilley
Genre: Picture Book
Ages: whenever they are having their first sleepover!

During the sleepover the girls created a petting zoo with caterpillars and other bugs they collected and charged the neighbors a small fee to visit. For dinner they made pizza with crazy toppings like marshmallows and chocolate chips. When it was time for bed the girls made a blanket tent and used pillows to create a tunnel.

Of course the night didn’t end without Olive becoming homesick. After listening to a ghost story, every sound that Olive heard was magnified. The ticking of the alarm clock was loud as well as the dripping of the rain as it trickled down a gutter. The girls experience more mishaps before finally sleeping soundly.

If you’re planning a sleepover either of the books mentioned in this post would be fun to read. If you’re looking for activities to incorporate into your party check out The Sleepover Book by Margot Griffin. The book included ideas such as flashlight tag, radical relays and a recipe for making glow-in-the-dark body paint.

thesleepoverbook

Title: The Sleepover Book
Author: Margot Griffin
Illustrator: Jane Kurisu
Genre: Parenting, Crafts, Cookbook
Ages: Old enough to host a sleepover

If you want to host a super sleepover, include the kids in the planning. Or at the very least, enjoy a good book about sleepovers.

What has been your experience with sleepovers?